"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and advise them to do it."

-Harry Truman

What would you tell your child about making good decisions? How would you suggest that he think about his choices and make the best decision? These are the most important questions any father can ask himself. One major responsibility of a father is to teach good decision making skills to his children. Unfortunately it's one that is unintentionally overlooked. Helping children learn to think about and make good decisions is one of the most important gifts a father can give. Here are some real world tools to help Dad (or Mom) on this journey:

·      Teach by example. Model your own best decision making skills where you children can watch and learn. For example, if you are in the mall and want something but don't buy it, visit with them about your decision and why you chose not to buy. "I would love these golf clubs, but I know we need to pay for Samantha's braces right now. Maybe I can think about getting them after her braces are off."

·      Start them off with a few options. When you're giving your children a choice, only give them a couple of options. "For dinner tomorrow night, would you rather have ravioli or tacos?" Successful decisions where the choices are limited (and you aren't too concerned with the outcome) will help children develop confidence in their decision making skills.

·      Don't solve their problems. Too often, fathers want to be in the "fix it" mode and try to solve problems for their children. Rather than making a decision for your children, help them make it themselves. And then don't jump so quickly to rescue them when things go wrong if they do. Even if they can't overcome the challenge with their decision making skills yet, praise them for trying when you can.

·      Be there! When the children are younger, be around them enough that you can help them think things through before they make a decision. Talking your children through the process before is a lot easier than helping them repair a mistake later.

Taking the time to walk your children through the process of making a decision will help them learn the best way to decide. Remember, they'll learn more from a little trial and error than they will if you make every decision for them. Having strong problem solving and decision making skills will help your children learn what they need to be strong decision makers in their adult life.

"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."

- Robert H. Heinlein