Latest News

Ahhh... Comfortable!

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:41:17 -0500

Are you comfortable or are you complacent? Before you decide on which "C" category you fall into, take a look at their definitions from Dictionary.com:

· Comfortable: being in a state of physical or mental comfort; contented and undisturbed; at ease.

· Complacent: pleased, esp. with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied.

If you had to choose one or other (not both), which would it be? I know they both look fine, but neither one is really good for longer than a brief moment in life. If you want to achieve your dreams, get off your ass and do it! If you lived the rest of your life only feeling comfortable or complacent you would be missing out on excitement, stimulation, love, passion, pleasure, and even sadness. Yes, you also need some struggle and sorrow in life. Without them how would you know what happiness looks like?

Take notice when you're feeling comfortable or complacent and enjoy the moment. Just be sure you don't find yourself there too long or YOUR life is going to pass you by.

-ING

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 21:34:31 -0500

"Many people feel they get happiness from shopping and buying. Try a different "-ing" for happiness. Traveling, experiencing, and giving are just a few that come to mind." -Brian Walt

Happy = Happy = Happy

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 21:32:27 -0500

Happiness is contagious! If you're around happy people, you may become happy yourself. That's the danger of spending time with positive people. When you're feeling frustrated or angry, get to the closest happy person you know & start talking to him or her. Build your personal sense of well being and you'll begin to bounce back sooner than later. While this is like putting a little band-aid on a big boo-boo, it's not a permanent fix. True happiness can only from within yourself.

Your Children CAN Make Good Decissions

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 12:28:51 -0500

What would you tell your child about making good decisions? How would you suggest that he think about his choices and make the best decision? These are the most important questions any father can ask himself. One major responsibility of a father is to teach good decision making skills to his children. Unfortunately it's one that is unintentionally overlooked. Helping children learn to think about and make good decisions is one of the most important gifts a father can give. Here are some real world tools to help Dad (or Mom) on this journey:

· Teach by example. Model your own best decision making skills where you children can watch and learn. For example, if you are in the mall and want something but don't buy it, visit with them about your decision and why you chose not to buy. "I would love these golf clubs, but I know we need to pay for Samantha's braces right now. Maybe I can think about getting them after her braces are off."

· Start them off with a few options. When you're giving your children a choice, only give them a couple of options. "For dinner tomorrow night, would you rather have ravioli or tacos?" Successful decisions where the choices are limited (and you aren't too concerned with the outcome) will help children develop confidence in their decision making skills.

· Don't solve their problems. Too often, fathers want to be in the "fix it" mode and try to solve problems for their children. Rather than making a decision for your children, help them make it themselves. And then don't jump so quickly to rescue them when things go wrong if they do. Even if they can't overcome the challenge with their decision making skills yet, praise them for trying when you can.

· Be there! When the children are younger, be around them enough that you can help them think things through before they make a decision. Talking your children through the process before is a lot easier than helping them repair a mistake later.

Taking the time to walk your children through the process of making a decision will help them learn the best way to decide. Remember, they'll learn more from a little trial and error than they will if you make every decision for them. Having strong problem solving and decision making skills will help your children learn what they need to be strong decision makers in their adult life.

5 basic Health Tips

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:14:14 -0500

1. Cut out the soda! Every time you were about to reach for a soft drink; replace it with water or tea.

2. Add 1 to 5 minutes a day to your exercise routine. Should you not have a schedule in place, start with 5 minutes a day.

a. When you get out of bed each morning do 5 sit-ups and 5 push-ups. Commit to doing this and you've just added 3,650 repetitions to your exercise routine every year!

3. Get at least 8 hours of sleep for 3-4 nights a week (or more). When you're sleep deprived the health cost is enormous.

4. Instead of trying to find a parking spot so close to the grocery store, park farther away. You'll get a little more walking exercise and a little more sunshine.

5. When planning your meals pledge to eat at least 1 serving of vegetables with lunch and dinner. Plus, add in healthy fruits as snacks!

I know I called these health "tips", but now change the wording to health "rules" and promise to never break them. The healthier you are... the happier you'll be!

Happiness IS a Skill!

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:52:06 -0500

A National Football League game has an average of 65 offensive plays per game. Each play lasts 5 1/2 seconds. When you do the math, the average player is actually moving and playing the game for about 6 minutes. This may not seem like much time when you consider the average NFL player makes around $1.4 million. How much time do you think he spends practicing for those 6 minutes? During the season most players practice and study an average of 50 to 60 hours per week. Keep in mind an NFL player wasn't an accountant yesterday, then woke up today and said "hey I want to play professional football." These men have been practicing since pee-wee football! After all of that work they're still not guaranteed to win on Sunday!

Happiness, just like any sport requires practice! Certain people poses a natural ability at certain sports, but they still have to practice. The same goes for happiness! Some people are naturally happier than others, but we all need to practice. Being happy is not a right or a state of being that just happens. You must actively engage in activities and thoughts that make you happier. Here are some valuable points you can start to practice every day.

Change the words you use in conversation and in your own head. Instead of saying "I hate sitting in traffic, this sucks", remind yourself that now you get to listen to your favorite music longer. Say to yourself "it's great to have some alone time" or "peace and quiet at last"! Practice using more positive words everyday and you'll find yourself in a better mood.
What are you passionate about? When you're at the same job for 5 or 10 years, it might be tough to remain energetic about work. Why did you start that career path? There was something about the job and it felt good inside. You took your job with enthusiasm. Get back to the reason why you started there and challenge yourself to do even better. When you truly can't find any more passion from your career, then it's time to look elsewhere for a salary.
Have you ever felt there's not enough time in the day? Plan your time and don't just let it get away from you. At the start of your day keep in mind what you need to get accomplished. Estimate how long each task should take. Plan time for distractions and interruptions, because you know they're going to happen anyway. Most importantly, plan some time throughout the day for yourself.

Life has many highs and lows, so expect your level of happiness to be different each day. Have realistic goals for your days, months, and years, but always keep them in sight. You're practicing the skill of happiness in order to have a better life! So keep it up and each positive day will add up to a happier existence!

Parenting Quote

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 12:30:04 -0500

"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."

- Robert H. Heinlein

Change Sounds Like a Great Idea... Now What?

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 12:24:37 -0500

Have you ever said to someone else, "I need a change in life"? If you haven't admitted it to the person next to you, then I guarantee you're said it to yourself. Great! We agree you would like to make some changes in life... now what? First there's usually some experience or genuine shift in awareness and understanding (that "ah-ha" moment of how we arrived at this place in life). This could be a relationship, lifestyle, physical health, emotional health, finances, career, etc.

While you ponder this new experience, also keep this in mind, "perception is reality." To expand on that: your perception is your reality and Mary's perception is her reality. Genuinely making the effort to see things from someone else's perspective is the beginning of the change you're looking for. Oh, of course the other aspect is the honest acknowledgement of what you need to do differently and how it needs to be accomplished. Don't waste any time beating yourself up for not having this realization sooner, just get ready to move forward!

Here's a classic example of what I mean by this: I'm now aware I simply eat too much food and/or the wrong types of food. I'm acknowledging that I need to change right now, I've created this problem for myself and I'm the only person who can fix the situation. The consequences for not changing my eating habits would mean continuing to be overweight (fat); feeling frustrated about the way I look and feel and certainly moving myself closer to a health condition like diabetes and a heart attack.

This process works for any area of life when you need a change. Career, family, health, relationships, goals and your overall happiness will move in the right direction as soon as you take action with your new realization.

Are You Accountable?

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:32:55 -0500

How can some people make a mistake year after year and then when they get caught, all of a sudden they realize that it was wrong? It's certainly quite convenient to admit their wrongdoings with such powerful apologies and promises to change! But pay close attention here... this is called bad behavior! When he or she knows not to do something, but does it anyway, this no longer falls under the mistake category. This is intentional and that person is just pissed about getting caught!

The skill of accountability is a tough one to master. Often it requires you to swallow your pride and other times it may make you feel uncomfortable for a moment. I guarantee it's worth it in the long run!

Be 1st or Lose Out

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:21:52 -0400

What would you do if a new customer called your business and wanted to buy your product of service? I hope your thinking, "well of course I would call him immediately and make the sale." Maybe you have a couple of pressing items you're in the middle of and then you'll return the call. Naturally, one of your employees has an emergency you must tend to, so now the new customer has to wait a little longer to give you his money. Before you know it the day is almost over and the sale will have to wait until tomorrow morning.

I understand "things" just happen, but there's no excuse for not calling back someone who wants to buy whatever it is you're selling. Now you finally get around to contacting him the next morning and you're too late! Your competitor sealed the deal yesterday.

I was calling around to some local karate schools for my older son the other morning; five schools to be exact. Within a couple of hours I received my first call back and scheduled a trail session for the following day. I was planning on trying two different schools in order to find a good fit for my son, but would you believe not one other karate person called me back? Luckily we really liked the one that did call me and signed with them.

Businesses spend thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of dollars to attract new customers. When an unsolicited caller wants to know more about what you do, forget every excuse that comes up and get yourself a loyal customer. If you're not the first getting back to him, you're losing money. While it seems common sense to do this, apparently it's not so common as I thought.

Motivational Quote

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:01:51 -0400

"Focus on what you want & you'll get it. If you're not getting it, then you're not focusing hard enough!"

-Brian Walt

Healthy Father

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:56:08 -0400

Check your blood pressure, have a cat scan and test your blood sugar, but here is the most simple and cost effective test any man can take for his health. Look down and tell me what you see. Do you see your belly button or your little soldier? When all you see is belly then either your little guy is in fact little or your gut has grown out a too far. Since every major health study says having a large waistline is the first indicator for elevated blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes... you just failed the test!

Imagine the left side of your face paralyzed from a stroke or having your right foot amputated because of diabetes, it's tough to be happy when you think about your health that way. Besides not dying an uncomfortable death, there are many other benefits to practicing a healthy life. Exercise regularly and you'll have more energy. With more oomph in your day, playing with your children is actually fun (since you can keep up with them). Increased energy translates to more productivity at work and a more productive sex life.

Practice eating healthy foods and your body will function as it's supposed to. Your memory will get better, your joints won't ache as much and you'll be in a better mood. Living a healthy lifestyle will not only help you live longer, but you'll save you money too! How much do you think a trip to the hospital will cost after that stroke? I'm guess you would be happy with less medical bills and saving time by not sitting in the doctor's waiting room.

There are thousands of surveys, scientific research studies and expert opinions about what makes a man happy. With all of those people trying to find the answers there are thousands different conclusions, but there is always one consistency. Healthy people are happier! Your body and its health are the most important aspect of a Happy Man, so start practicing today.

Career Questions

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:35:00 -0400

Answer the following questions and be honest with yourself or this won't work. Promise to keep asking yourself these questions throughout your career. They'll help keep focused and develop your skill of livelihood:

· Am I working to the best of my ability?

· Do the projects and tasks I do add meaning to my career?

· When I leave the house in the morning, how do I feel about going to work?

· Do I enjoy the people I work with?

· Does my manager understand my career goals?

· Does my career / work add value to my life?

How did you answer these 6 questions? More importantly, how did you feel about your answers? If you were unsure about any of your responses, then you aren't getting the personal fulfillment from your career you need for the happiest life possible. Adjust your job description until you can answer each question with confidence and clarity to say, "I love my job." Practice this skill of happiness and your career will move in the direction you want it to. You'll find more success and greater enjoyment.

A Common Sense Health Tip

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:08:24 -0400

Did you know that as a fetus your body was 99% water? Then when you were born your body was composed of 90% water. Eventually you became an adult and are now closer to 70% water. Finally, when you die peacefully in your sleep of old age, the body will be down to 50% water.

Do you notice a trend here? Besides the percentages going down as we age, we are mostly made up of WATER! So it makes sense to drink enough water everyday... your body needs it to live. Most people would instruct you to drink a minimum of 8 - 8 ounce glasses a day. Personally, I go above and beyond 64 ounce minimum. Besides, if you aim to do just enough, there's a good chance you'll miss the mark every time.

Since I'm a realist, I'm not going to demand you cut out all beverages except H2O from your life. Instead, pick 1 of your favorites each day and go from there. I like coffee so I have a cup every morning, but then it's back to water for the rest of the day. Try your best to stay away from the really toxic ones like soda or energy drinks, but if you must then 1 SMALL drink it is.

What does this have to do with happiness? Everything! Your health is the key ingredient to your happiness in life, so no more excuses when it comes to taking care of your body. Start practicing this skill today for a healthier mind and body!

Parenting Quote

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:39:21 -0400

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and advise them to do it."

-Harry Truman

Change is Coming!

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:18:28 -0400

Is there anything different in your life? Has anything changed over the last couple of years? If you live on planet Earth and are human, I'm guessing there's quite a bit different in your life. Most people understand change happens in life, but when your days start veering down a completely different path too many of us are unprepared.

How do you get ready for change in life? Remaining flexible is important and continuing to grow with the times is all great, but here's something you can practice everyday to stay sharp:

-If you're a "right handed" person, use your left. If you're a "left handed" person, use your right. This little trick forces your brain to think differently and get out of your routine. Switch hands when brushing your teeth, washing in the shower, or when using a fork. Step it up a notch and try writing with the opposite hand!

Get ready for something new in your life, because whether you're expecting it or not change will happen!

Ultimate Act of Consideration

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:53:59 -0400

When you're pulling up to an intersection and need to make a right, 9 out of 10 times there's someone sitting there waiting for the light to turn green so they can go straight. Meanwhile, you're stuck behind them waiting... and waiting... and waiting! For some strange reason this occurrence seems to always happen when you're either running in late or in a hurry (which is more often than not).

The other day I was pulling up to an intersection and my right turning signal was flashing. As I approached the traffic light there was a minivan in my lane ahead of me and another car waiting at the red in the lane just to the left. You'll never guess what happened next! The minivan shifted to the left and went behind the other car! This kind and selfless driver noticed I was going to make a right and moved behind another car so she didn't hold me up.

While most people would have simply stayed their course so they could go straight ahead and save a ½ of a second, this person actually cared about a stranger on the road. This person was being... courteous! No, this wasn't really an ultimate act of consideration, but this small gesture had a big impact. I truly was in a better mood for the rest of the day. Since then, whenever I'm driving and come up to an intersection where the right lane is open, I make sure and leave it that way (unless of course I'm going that way).

Being considerate and courteous doesn't have to been well thought out, nor does it only have to be for the people you know. Any little act of kindness could (and most likely will) change another person's day for the better. Now imagine for a moment if everyone practiced 1 considerate act for a stranger each day; the world would be a much happier place! Acknowledging that I'm a realist, changing the planet's population to simply be more kind isn't an option. The only (and best) place to start is with you. Start with just 1 small act of selflessness or kindness today and you will start changing the world.

Hard Work + College = Good Job

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:23:57 -0400

When you look at the equation (HW + C = GJ), it seems pretty simple. So when many high school and college students hear this, they think "Great, all I have to do is get good grades and I'll get a good career." To anyone who still has college in front of them, it seems quite plausible because it's coming from a credible source (parents and teachers). Why would anyone in today's world want to give their child such a false sense of security or entitlement?

Yep, I said entitlement! By the time your teenager is three-quarters of the way through college, he or she has heard this line a thousand times. If you were told a thousand times by Harvard doctors that ice cream had no fat and was good for you, you'd believe it too. There's a natural tendency now of a college student to think, "Since I put in all of this hard work here at the University of Wherever, I deserve a good job." This couldn't be farther from reality!

Growing up I heard this all of the time. Now that I'm a parent, I'm amazed at the number of other parents who are still saying the exact same thing to their children. I am by no means against the idea of going to college, education and more education are crucial to society and personal growth. I just want the next generation to be better prepared for the "real world." Also, keep in mind this is not just an investment in your future anymore, college could be a huge $$$$ commitment too. Have a solid plan to pay for your tuition. When anyone is deciding to further their education, stop and think about why you're doing it. Don't just go because you're supposed to; find a major you're passionate about and learn it better than anyone else.

Here's my updated formula for a successful career:

Hard work + experience + education + life lessons + passion + opportunity + a little bit of luck = a great career

Quotes to Think About

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 17:05:19 -0400

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

- George Eliot

Skill of Passion

Sun, 31 May 2009 18:03:09 -0400

The American Heritage Dictionary defines passion as "a powerful emotion" or "boundless enthusiasm." How would you define passion? I could define passion as love or football, but for this example I choose to define it as Baby Einstein. This isn't the Disney version of passion, but rather the original Julie Aigner-Clark version. This woman had a passion for the arts and her child, so she started a company over 20 years ago that addressed her powerful emotion. Where do you think her company would be today if she just thought of it as another good idea? Julie Asinger-Clark poured her soul into her idea and her passion showed. The idea of being filled with such strong desire and passion is wonderful in theory. Just like any other idea... if you don't take action, then it never happened.

Do you wake up every morning excited to start the day? It would be unrealistic to say that we need to start all 365 days by leaping to our feet. I'm sure even Anthony Robbins has an off morning every once in a while. The reality is that you do have the energy and desire for something, now you just have to practice focusing on the who, what, where, when, and why of your passion and it will become another skill of happiness.

The short answer is; we're all happier when we're doing something we enjoy. The long answer is that we're enthusiastic, healthy, energetic, loving, focused, dynamic and vigorous when we're doing something we're passionate about. Modify your daily activities to include aspects of yourself that you're passionate about. Every day you get out of bed will be more successful! Consciously add more of what you love to your routine to become a happier you.

You have learned a new skill of happiness... start practicing today!

From Dad to Father

Fri, 29 May 2009 08:09:18 -0400

While growing up we learn quite a bit. As young children we figure out how to read and play nicely with other children. In high school throwing a football becomes a skill and we start to see the good (and not so good) side of women. In college some of us learned how to funnel beer and others actually learned business or psychology. Finally as real world adults we get married and become dads. I'm sure somewhere in between high school and the wedding you learned all about changing diapers and raising children, right?

There is no greater learning curve than becoming a new parent! When you earn the name "dad" it can be intimidating, but nothing you can't handle. In order to be a real father for your children, you do need to make an effort and really learn about children. You could learn a thing or two from your parents or maybe you have some experience with a niece or nephew. Now it's time to take it a step further by picking up a parenting magazine and paying attention to your wife. How could you be the best father for your children if you don't know what's going on in their life? Have you ever seen any dads that are afraid to pick up their newborn because they might break the baby? Some dads just don't put forth the effort to be a father. Do you know anyone like that?

My wife has a friend of a friend whose husband is destined to have no relationship with his kids. He has a stable job which provides for the family and allows her to stay home with the kids. They are the typical middle class family and fit right into the gen X age range. The problem is he can't, won't and doesn't hold his baby for more than 15 minutes and he must be sitting down (and this is his 2^nd kid).This dad has never changed a diaper, would never feed the baby, and hasn't even been alone with the kids, ever. When I heard this story, I felt bad for the children. How pathetic that he won't put any effort into being a father. Yes, he's a dad, but you have to earn the title of father.

It's unfortunate when some dads don't see the benefit of fatherhood for their children and for themselves. I learn from my children every day! Creativity and imagination keep me young. They remind me how quickly time flies and to pay attention in the moment.

Do you want to be the best father for your children? What benefits do you get from your children?

Are You Uncomfortable?

Fri, 29 May 2009 08:00:51 -0400

You had a restful night of sleep, ate a healthy breakfast and every light was green on the way to work. Sounds like your day is off to a great start! While at work your bonus check was bigger than expected and you accomplished enough to leave early. This day just keeps getting better! Finally, you come home to a happy family with your favorite meal waiting on the table. Isn't this how everyday goes?

This may not have been your exact day; however, many of our days are like this one! They may not always include the big bonus, but the general outline is the same. The majority of people wake up, go to work, run errands, come home and its back to bed. There's a natural comfort level with the routine of our day and without some structure we feel lost. The problem starts when our days become too rigid. Monday through Friday simply coast along with the autopilot engaged. The weekend brings some change from your schedule, but two days of fun doesn't cut it.

How to you add more passion and creativity into each day? Get uncomfortable! Practice adding something new into each day. Think about what would make today more fun? Go to the zoo for your lunch break or just make up a nonsense word. Try an exotic food, strike up a conversation with complete strangers, or get new shirt unlike the rest of your wardrobe and wear it tomorrow!

Taking the time to change your routine gives your brain a fresh perspective on the rest of life. When you are faced with a challenge or feel a little down, choose to get out of your comfort zone. When you proactively make changes, you'll be better prepared for those unexpected bumps in the road of life.

You have learned a new skill of happiness... start practicing today!

When You're There, Be There!

Tue, 26 May 2009 08:09:35 -0400

Let's assume you get the chance to sit down to dinner with the family. Your wife made chicken parmesan, green beans, garlic bread and a nice salad (sounds pretty good). About ten minutes into the meal your cell phone rings, what do you do?

a) Excuse yourself to get up and answer it.

b) Flip it open at the table, look at the caller ID, and answer it.

c) Let it ring until the call goes to voicemail.

Quite often your first instinct would be to do either "a" or "b", especially if it's your boss calling. What message does that send to your children? This attitude says that work and anyone else calling is more important than them. Then before you know it your teenage daughter's cell phone is buzzing nonstop and what do you say to her when she wants to answer it during dinner? Parents are experts when it comes to the cliché, "do as I say, not as I do." Here's a better catchphrase for parents who want to be a role model for their children, "do as I do and do it right."

Have you seen any of your bad habits show up in your children's behavior? It certainly doesn't feel good when you see that, but the opposite is true too. When your kids display excellent behavior... you're one proud parent!

You're in control of your day!

Tue, 26 May 2009 07:49:48 -0400

How many choices do you think you've made today? Whether the number you came up with was 1 or 100, you can't survive without making decisions. Some choices are obvious while others seem to just happen. Too many times we let choices be made for us and wish we could change the outcome.

You're in control of your day! You may say you feel like you don't have a choice; however, you couldn't be more wrong! You decide your career and who you're in a relationship with. You choose what you eat and how much time you spend with your family. You choose which road you take and which people to be friends with.

The size or importance of the decision doesn't matter, practice being mindful of each decision you make. When you make a choice that didn't work out, don't do it again! Learn from any poor decisions in your life and move on. Remember you determine the course of your day and your life through choices and actions.

Is there a situation you need to take control of? What decisions are you going to make to better your life today? Practice this skill of happiness everyday and you will have a happy life!

You have learned a new skill of happiness... start practicing today!